The Emotional Impact of Expectations – Ben Winter

“In order to grow you sometimes have to look at it and see things you wish you didn’t see but if you do not see it, you cannot change the reflection.” ~ Ben Winters

Have you ever been disappointed because your expectations weren’t met for something or by someone? If so, our guest today has simple reminders to help us navigate this emotional landmine and come out better on the other side. In this episode we talk about identifying our own expectations, communicating those expectations with others, and realizing that it is ok to be upset. But be careful with what you do with those emotions.

Ben Winters is the co-founder of Success Improv and author of What to Expect When Having ExpectationsUsing the Anger of Unmet Expectations to Find Peace. His biggest passion is exploring the mind. In all of his personal growth work, the one constant was that it all stems from the mind. Between personal growth and Improv, he found the weird realm of expectations, finding that “the only reason anyone gets upset is because an expectation hasn’t been met.”

  • My business is called Success Improv, it’s where I take those things that I have learned with Improv and enjoyed over my life with Improv and teach them to the masses. [03:39]
  • Throughout the entirety of teaching, the word expectation kept coming up; the only reason someone gets upset is when an expectation hasn’t been met. [03:55]
  • How can we get upset with others, if we did not know we had an expectation, and didn’t share with them? [05:03]
  • What kind of things do you do at with people to make them work through their expectations? [6:43]
  • Tell people it’s okay to be upset because, often times in society we are told don’t get upset. [06:56]
  • The thing we suck at these days as a society is a thing called communication. [08:53]
  • I think It’s important we recognize what those expectations are, because if we don’t recognize them before it’s hard to communicate them effectively with other people. [10:42]
  • Commercial Top Dog Learning Group LLC. [12:56]
  • All personal growth is really somebody else holding up a mirror for you. [15:10]
  • Most adults don’t have realistic expectations. [17:58]
  • The practice is practicing good behaviors that will lead to better outcomes. [18:08]
  • You get upset, what process do you go through? [19;59]
  • Einstein said, “you can’t solve a problem at the same level it was created.” [20:05]
  • Somebody asked me, if I were to die tomorrow would I have any regrets? [21:00]
  • It is okay to get upset, don’t let society say it is not and remember to not stay upset. Use it as a moment in time for an opportunity for growth. [22:33]

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TopDog Learning Group, LLC is a leadership, change management, and diversity and inclusion consulting firm based in Orlando, FL, USA but with “TopDoggers” (aka consultants) throughout North America and beyond.

They focus on training programs (both virtual and face-to-face), keynotes and “lunch and learns,” group and 1:1 coaching, and off-the-shelf solutions.

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